Just got back from a time of gathering with peers and colleagues, friends and mentors. A time of training, digging deeper, reflection, vision, and prayer. It was a complex time for me. It was a time of reconnecting and building deeper relationships with other cross-cultural workers around the globe, as well as a time of serious introspection and learning and inner growth. Right now, all I am left with are questions and words that have randomly arranged themselves in my head as a poem of sorts:
Where am I?
Home, yet in a foreign land
Somewhere between here and there
In transition, again
Among friends, with my tribe, yet lost
Who am I?
Teacher, coach, counselor
Pioneer, leader, mentor
Mother, wife, friend
What am I doing?
Fighting to stay afloat
Wondering if I know what I’m doing
How am I?
Awesome, terrified, awesomely terrified
Scared of failing, hoping to succeed
Unsure of most things, timid
Acutely aware of my brokenness
Yet I put on the smile and say “I’m fine”
Where do I go from here?
Back to Him, back to His Word
Back to the center of it all
Return to the Focus
Let Him do the work He wants to do in me
Let Him heal all that is confused and searching
Give it all up to Him and surrender
So He can restore me, so He can put the pieces back together
Put my confidence back in Him, off of me
It’s a time of restoration, of reconciliation
A swing in my rhythm of life with Him
This is exactly where He wants me
Dependent and in need
Weak, so He can be Strong
In knowing Him, in knowing who He is, I know that I’m going to be okay
It’s a process
It’s tough, but it’s all good
Who am I? In my USA life, I was a teacher in Texas for 15 years. I was also a professional photographer, a Southern Living / Martha Stewart wannabe, a soccer mom, and a short term mission team coordinator / intern director for missions in Mexico... you name it, I probably tried it!
In 2006, my husband Billy and I became cross-cultural workers (CCWs) with TMS Global. For five years, we served in three rural Quechua Wanca villages in the Andes of Peru. And when I say rural, I mean RURAL - like no potty! We have three incredible children... two adult boys who live in Texas, and the Sarah (14) lives with us in whatever country we are serving. I'm still teaching, still taking photos, still leading teams and mentoring, I just do it all in full-time service now! And I'm working hard at giving Southern Living and Martha Stewart a run for their money! I spent my days in Peru learning to live a Quechua lifestyle in a rustic adobe house - cooking Peruvian foods, sewing with Quechua women, raising my chickens and goats and pigs, and planting my gardens. Now I live my life in small town Spain, serving other cross-cultural workers and immigrant peoples, writing, and trying to figure out what life looks like for a Texas girl serving Christ in Southern Europe. Life in His service is AWESOME! I'm happy to share it with you here... Enjoy!