WHAT SIZE?!?! I don't think so...
Let me just start by saying that being a woman is hard enough. I mean, seriously. Guys put on pants and a shirt and life's good. The biggest decision is between jeans and slacks, short sleeves or long. If they gain a little weight, they don't really care. And why should they? They lose weight without really even thinking very hard. I never understood that... how is it that I can eat like a bird and shun sweets like they carry the plague, yet I gain weight? All the while, my husband eats everything he sees and never turns down a dessert and his weight doesn't change.
So, all that to say, women already have issues with clothing and weight and all the trappings of being a woman in our North American culture. I didn't need the added issues of changing styles and sizes when I moved to another culture.
First was the shoes. I needed to get shoes that are stylish, yet good for walking. There is a lot of walking here. And it is cobblestone street walking. Add to that the fact that Spaniards do not approve of tennis shoes unless you are actually running or playing tennis. Tennis shoes are NOT apparel. So, I needed real shoes. "What size?", asked the saleslady. Oh great... I have no idea. I wear a 7 in the USA, but European sizes are different. I told her that I'm a 7 in the USA, so she says, "You need a 37 or 38 here." WHAT? That sounds absurd. But true... I now wear a size 37 shoe.
Then came the pants. My pants that I had been loving and wearing for several years were now close to death and it was necessary to go shopping for replacements. Again, no idea on size. There is no such thing as small, medium, or large. I looked for a conversion chart, to no avail. So I asked the saleswoman how to figure out what size I am in European pants. She looks at my butt (I kid you not) and announces that I am probably a 44 or 46. EXCUSE ME!!!! I DO NOT ACCEPT THAT! Mean spirited little stick figure woman... Except, she was correct. A 44 is exactly what now covers my not-so-delicate derriere.
Serious depression began seeping in to my soul... how could I live with being a 37 foot in a 44 pants? This is a serious attack on my ego...
Until I needed a bra. Let me just say that I have insider knowledge that the average 6th grader wears a size 90, and I'm not even CLOSE to that... I might need counseling.
And underwear... again, a sixth grade girl wears a 182 panty. I gave up... no new underwear for me. I can't take it. Just the thought of knowing that number is enough to make me have cold sweats and dizzy spells. I'm accustomed to single-digit underwear sizes. I can't do it. 37. 44. 90. 182. This sounds like a phone number, or coordinates on a GPS system. How can these possibly be the sizes associated with a woman's body?
So, I don't know if I'll survive the Great Size Crisis of 2015. Being a woman in a cross-cultural context is tough... I'm going to go eat a head of lettuce.
2/8/2015 07:32:08 pm
you are so funny!
2/9/2015 01:23:38 pm
Whoa! I had NO idea. You are still awesome in my book! Love you friend!
2/12/2015 02:45:29 am
Well, we know what to put in the next care package!!
Comments are closed.
In my USA life, I was a teacher in Texas for 15 years. I was also a professional photographer, a soccer mom, a horsewoman, and the neighborhood hospitality queen. I did "Joanna Gaines farmhouse style" before Chip and JoJo were even a thing - we restored an 1884 Victorian farmhouse in small town Texas and did shiplap walls until I thought I'd go crazy. I taught at NASA, scuba dived with astronauts in training, and studied animals at Sea World for educational purposes. I've tried just about everything, because I have an insatiable need to know if I can do it! Never underestimate a Texas girl in cowboy boots!
In 2006, my husband Billy and I became cross-cultural workers (CCWs) with TMS Global. For five years, we served in three rural Quechua Wanca villages in the Andes of Peru. And when I say rural, I mean RURAL - like no potty! I spent my days in Peru learning to live a Quechua lifestyle in a rustic adobe house - cooking Peruvian foods, sewing with Quechua women, raising my chickens and goats and pigs, and planting my gardens. Now I live my life in small town Spain, serving other cross-cultural workers via teaching and training and care, and helping displaced people to navigate their new reality in Europe.
I'm passionate about fostering personal growth, growth in community, and growth in The Kingdom. Walking alongside others and helping them to use their unique design, their gifts and strengths and maximize their abilities to fulfill their God-given purpose - that's what makes my heart sing!