Took a full day of rest in Logroño. I found a place to buy a second walking pole and I mailed 7lbs. home from my backpack… the equivalent of a newborn baby. So my pack is lighter now. I tried to really rest and do nothing, but it was so hard. My mind and my body just kept thinking that I needed to keep moving. But I did stay put and do some resting. My knee still hurts, but my blisters healed quite a bit. I’m becoming an expert at self-piercing… I “sew” a needle and thread through the blister, then leave the thread in as a wick. It drains the blister but doesn’t remove the top layer and they heal pretty fast that way. The tricks of the Camino. We walked from Logroño to Najera today – about 30km. Some of the group got separated during the day due to varying walking speeds and such. The ones that ended up walking alone for a while found that the time they spent separated and alone was disturbing and hard. When we talked in group last night, we decided to work harder at staying closer together. Long periods alone are tough. It is a lot easier to stick together. It is easier to get through a long day when you’ve got someone with you. When you’re alone for a long time, it’s lonely and hard. (The day that I walked 30km with the guy from Switzerland felt like nothing – it went so fast because we talked the whole time.) Stayed in another big, full albergue last night. Ninety beds, two bathrooms. This time I was NOT one of the ones who was lucky enough to get a shower. The albergue hosts had a little impromptu concert last night in the front room of the place. They played several typical Spanish music pieces. They really had quite a little party going in there. Back at my bed, I had noticed earlier in the evening that the person in the bottom bunk was pretty meticulous. All of their ziplock bags and their personal items were arranged on the bed in straight rows and all perfect. When I came back in the room, I found my bunkmate (a 60 year old Korean woman) had rearranged all of my things. She hung my towel in a different place, she rearranged my bed things, she had moved my pack, and I noticed that my pillow and sleeping bag liner were different (I pin them together so my pillow won’t fall off the top bunk at night. I started to talk to her and she commenced to cry. She hates the Camino. She hates the albergues – they are too crowded, everyone snores, people smell bad and pass gas. She has blisters. The walk is too hard. The list went on and on. I recognized her textbook culture shock, mixed with some exhaustion. She has stopped walking the Camino. She has been getting up in the mornings and taking a bus to the next town each day. She says the only reason she continues at all is… “See that woman over there (pointing). She’s Korean, too. She doesn’t speak anything but Korean. Ever since I met her, I’ve been trying to help her and translate for her. I can’t quit because then she couldn’t talk. So I keep going.” We talked some more. I asked a lot of questions about Korea. By the end of the night, she was laughing and smiling. This morning before we headed out on the Camino, she said, “Thanks for talking to me and making me laugh. I needed that. It felt good to laugh. I’m glad I met you.” I’m hoping we meet up again in another town and I can talk to her some more. There was an incident last night. We went to a restaurant for dinner. We found a place that the menu looked okay, so we went in. The waiter met us at the door. He then proceeded to yell at the group. In Spanish, he was yelling, "How many are there in your group? " He was very animated and had an awful scowl on his face. I was the translator for the group and I told him I don't know, just a minute and I’ll count. He then yelled at me again, “How many?” I repeated, “Just a minute, I need to count.” There were 14 of us. He then moved the tables, glasses, etc. to accommodate us. By that time, everyone in the group was afraid of him. It was like the episode of the Soup Nazi on Seinfeld! The meal was okay, but we will never walk 60+ miles to go to that restaurant again!
Today was really good. I spent some time walking alone and spent some quiet time sitting by a Roman spring and bath. The water was flowing from the wall into a large pool located in a stone building. I got to spend a lot of time with the A&M students today as well. Great kids! When talking with a Spaniard today, he said that The Camino was great. He said he has lived in his apartment building for years and still cannot talk to his neighbors like he can with people he just met on the Camino. He said, “If you talk with your neighbors about the things you talk about with people on the Camino, they look at you like you’re an alien. You can share your life and your story with people on the Camino and they really listen and care. Interesting for a relationship that is usually less than a day old.” While the day was good I am struggling with tired muscles and hurting feet. I think we have a rest day coming up. I really look forward to that. I have had one 'casualty'... I think my iPod is officially dead. I've had it in a bag of rice ever since the first big rain... the day that my rain jacket gave up the ghost and I had to find other rain gear. My iPod was in my chest pocket so I could listen to some uplifting music and it got wet. Still hasn't come back to life. I think it's gone. That sucks... I still have at least 27 days to go... I hope this post made sense. I am exhausted. ~Billy The day started out great. Less pain and more energy. I actually slept through the night. The first time on this pilgrimage.
I got to have coffee with Didier (french pronunciation) . He is the guy in the wheelchair that I mentioned in an earlier post. Really nice guy. He was excited to show me his wheelchair. It is the design used for basketball. It is made in the USA and cost $7000. He is doing the entire Camino in the chair. Someone accompanies him every day because he goes on the pilgrim trail designated for bicycles and it includes highways. Therefore, he does not have much interactions with other pilgrims. A French lady has helped for a few days and today a guy from Korea was helping him. His hope is to make it to Santiago, go to the church there in Santiago and be healed there. I would really like to have everyone pray for him. He reminds me of the people that approached Jesus with similar requests. Today was great. I had great discussions with Spaniards, South Africans and the A&M students. Great talks! The weather started out raining. It cleared up some, but continued to do this all day. The bad part was when I climbed a big hill. It was sunny and hot and I had taken off my jackets and pancho. At the top of the hill, we were hit with a storm - blew straight into our faces. It had strong wind, rain, and hail blowing straight at us. I would swear that the hail was blowing parallel to the ground and therefore would never touch the ground. We finally found refuge after many in the group had red legs from the pelting of the ice. After my revelation last night that I need to be open to ask others to help me, I realized that God is in that category as well. So I thought for a while – What could I ask God for? I figured that the best thing I could ask from him would be more love. Good request, right? Well I did. I walked along and prayed. When I was finished I was very pleased with my request. I then looked up on the mountain on my left and there sat an enormous cross. I then realized he HAD given me ALL of his love. I have it. Day 4… Pamplona – Puente La Reina There is a guy that started from St Jean Pied de Port (France) in a wheelchair. I saw him again the morning of the first rain. I’ve seen him several times now. He is a real trooper. The Aggies have been pushing him uphill when they see him on the way. At times, I keep passing a Brazilian couple. Many times he has been at her feet, carefully removing her shoes and socks, checking her feet, massaging them, taping them and slowly replacing the shoes. Devotion and love. I figured out what ‘talents’ are in the Parable of the Talents (Matthew 25:14). It came to life today when I realized that God's love for me is the ‘talent’ he gives me. When I pass it along to others, it comes back to me 10 fold. Pour it out. I had a really hard day. Really hard. I went to breakfast my myself today. I wanted to have my traditional Spanish mollete (bread) with olive oil and tomatoes. That should tell you something right there… I’m missing home. I left later than the group on purpose today. I’ve been walking at the head of the group, mostly. Today, I wanted to be at the back of the pack. I intentionally wanted to help form behind today, to help the ones who are having trouble, who are walking slower, who need help. Except, I started having troubles with my feet. Blisters and small cuts. I had to stop and deal with them, clean them and bandage them. They continued to bother me. I spent all day dealing with wrapping my feet, keeping them dry, dealing with wounds. By mid-afternoon, I was shot. I felt down, really empty. Physically, I am running on no sleep. These big albergues with too many people. Last night, they left the lights on all night. I’m physically spent. Spiritually worn out. Mentally shot. But I didn’t ask anyone else for help. My devo this morning was Psalm 84:5-7. The questions from that passage for me today were, “Where will you turn to ask for help. What kind of help do you need… emotional, physical, spiritual, relational? Have you lifted your needs up to God? Have you shared your needs with others who can pray for you or help you?” When I read it, I was doing well. But as the day progressed, it became more and more timely. I arrived at today’s stopping point (Puente La Reina) in a pretty poor frame of mind. I go to the debrief meetings with the Texas A&M group each night. We talked, and some students asked me, “what did you learn today?” All I could say was, “I don’t know. I’m still in a bad place.” All I could do was be honest about where I am right now. At dinner, I talked with the leaders of the group and with some students. A couple of students stayed afterward to talk. It was a really good time of processing. I still don’t have answers, but it’s not as bad. I talked to Laurie on the phone and shared with her. She shared with me some things that are going on at home that have not been great. (Read her blog) In a lot of ways, we are both learning the same lessons but in very different ways and in different places. We both are learning that we need to reach out and learn to rely on others sometimes. We can’t do it all. It’s a hard lesson to learn. I think it’s just beginning. So, that’s my day today. It wasn’t very good. It wasn’t fun. But it was what it was. On to tomorrow… Day 3 – Zubiri – Pamplona, Spain
Started out raining again today, but got much lighter and scattered as the day progressed. Probably start back up again later, though. Hard to stop to read my devotional in the rain. Going to try to find a dry place to rest and read and reflect. For now...keep walking… I met two Argentinian priests and a Swiss Argentinian(?) along the Way today. Had a great conversation about their take on the state of the South American church. Fun meeting up with South Americans and speaking South American Spanish! They are holding mass for folks along the Camino. Neat guys. I met up with another guy – North American. Started talking. Quickly progressed to tears. His oldest son died. He is struggling with God, with anger, with everything. Said that priests and nuns had really “pissed him off” with all their talk about leaving family and friends and the world behind and “Follow Me”. Said a missionary friend had called him from Central America to say his condolences and invite him to come spend some time serving in Central America. But, he admitted to having a string of excuses for not doing it… too involved in family, work, making extra money for the other kid’s college funds, etc. Then one of his other children said that he wanted to go to Central America with him to serve. Then a second child wanted to go, too. Then the stock market jumped up and he made enough to cover the college tuitions. So, they started serving together. Now they do short term mission work with a priest who is a missionary in Haiti. He is hiking the Camino with those two kids right now. He asked me about my story. I told him about my walk in faith, about my own struggles. We had some really pivotal things in common in our stories as fathers. We cried together quite a bit. God and I are having a great walk. It is hard, emotionally and physically. But it is great. I’m watering a lot of plants with tears along the route. Psalm 126:5 Those who sow with tears will reap with songs of joy. Day 2… Roncevalles, Spain – Zubiri, Spain As I got ready to hoist my pack on to my back this morning, I heard something on the roof of the albergue. Rain. HARD rain. But there’s no staying put, so I pulled out my rain gear – my rain jacket and rain pants and the rain cover for my backpack – got everything covered up and started walking. There wasn’t anywhere to get breakfast food for a decent price, so we decided to walk to the next town. It was pretty miserable. Thunder and lightning and LOTS of rain. The Camino quickly turned in to El Rio (the river), which made things just that much more miserable. My jacket couldn’t keep me dry, so I was soaked and so, so cold. When I got to breakfast, I took off my jacket and pulled out my long sleeved shirt to try to warm up. I asked the people at the store where I could buy a different jacket or poncho, but they said the nearest place would be about 5km in the next town. So, after coffee and some food, I jumped on a bus to find a poncho. A couple of the Aggie girls jumped on a bus for the next town to try to go ahead and get rooms in the albergue, and to take one of the girls who was so cold her hands had turned blue to a warm, dry place. The bus driver asked me where I was going and I told him I needed a poncho. He told me that I should buy it at the ferreteria (hardware store). When we got to the next town, he took the bus to the hardware store and dropped me off at the door – so nice! I bought a poncho, put it on, and started walking again. I got to a place on the Camino where it was no longer a trickle or a stream… it was now at least a foot deep in water! I scrambled up to the top of a ridge and found many other pilgrims doing the same thing. I saw about 30 huddled in a barn. I decided to stop for a rest near a ball court in a town. I sat down and had a pear. That was the extent of resting for today. Kept pushing forward and walking to get through it. The Aggie girls got me a reserved bed in an albergue, which was great. Tonight I’m in a room of 8, instead of the packed bunkhouse of last night. I was so cold from being wet all day, so I had a hot shower to warm myself up. I’m trying to dry stuff out right now. My GoreTex boots are soaked. I’m not the only one. Everyone is in the same boat. Everyone is scrambling for warmth and dry clothes and to get things dry and ready for tomorrow. There wasn’t much talking with others on the trail today. Just focusing on the trail and the rain. I couldn’t even look around to see the surroundings because of the rain and my glasses and the need to stay focused on your steps. But it was a good day of solitude and prayer and reflection. My knee only bothered me a little bit. I have a bed and a warm dry place to stay and all is going well. Travel day to St. Jean Pied de Port… I traveled by train from Antequera, Spain (9am) to Pamplona, Spain, then took a bus to St. Jean Pied de Port in France, arriving at 8pm. Long travel day! I realized when I got to France that my cell phone locked itself and I didn’t have the code to unlock it, so the hostel let me use their computer and internet to contact Laurie and have her find the code. The hostel was good (and cheap!). There were four to a room. You don’t get to choose… you get what you get. I was placed in a room with two older women from France and a guy from Holland. The Holland guy started his trek on the Camino in his homeland (there are pilgrimage trails the converge from all over Europe). He had already covered 1600km before today! He is a 51 year old guys who “goes to mass occasionally, but wants something deeper”. He studies philosophy. He admits that he is searching for something more. He is reading a Shirley Mclain book about walking the Camino, but he isn’t impressed that she writes about seeing UFOs. We had a long talk about what he is looking for. He talked a lot about his belief that all religions have the same basic foundations. He was interesting and we had some good conversation. I did a lot of asking questions and listening, mostly. Day One…St. Jean Pied de Port, France – Roncevalles, Spain Before we hit the trail, The Hollander and I went to a bakery and shared a loaf of fresh bread (hmmm… breaking bread together). As we were standing there, the pilgrims began to slowly emerge from the various hostels and buildings and begin their walk for the day, heading down the street and out of town. The Hollander was quiet, then he said that his hair was standing on end as he watched. He started crying. We parted ways after we finished our bread and I went to meet up with the Aggie group. The Aggies – great group! I got to hear some of their stories. They all have different stories and struggles – don’t we all! They are all looking at their majors, at jobs, at their futures. Many of them have parents my age. I met a kid from Sweden on the trail today. He’s “looking for himself” on The Camino. Talked a lot about partying and traveling. He has lived in the USA and Australia for some time. He is my new best friend, since he thought that I was 32 years old! HA! Today was probably the toughest day of the trail, as this section is 25km long and an almost 1500m climb in altitude. I passed a woman along the way. She was standing still, head down, looking really discouraged. I stopped to see if she was okay and talk. Her husband died 2 years ago. She is hiking the Camino to try to figure out how to get on with her life. Now, not even halfway in to the first day, she was ready to quit. She was so down. She wanted to give up. We talked a while and we walked together. Talking and having someone to listen to her kept her going. She even said that she forgot the pains of the climb as we talked. She cried to me about her husband. She says that she talks to him from time to time, and that she is angry at God for it all. I told her that I thought that God was big enough to handle the fact that she was angry right now and He is probably okay with that emotion. She asked if I was a Buddhist. I told her, “No, I’m a follower of Jesus.” She smiled and said that He was a good one to follow. Near the end of our walk today, the trail turned to a downhill stretch which was difficult. She began to have a hard time with the descent. I gave her my walking stick to help take the weight off her knees and help her balance. She gladly accepted it. I then started to have severe pain in my knee – this happened about two months ago, too, just after I had done a pretty steep descent on a trail. It was like there was a knife under my knee cap. It was intense. I stopped and prayed, “Please God. I don’t know what to do. I gave her all that I had, the one thing that I had to help with the descent. Now I don’t think I can make it down. God, all I have is you now. Please take away this pain.” I walked for another minute or two before I had to stop. I sat to rest and think through my options. When I got up, there was no pain left at all! In fact, I was bouncing and running the rest of the way down the trail! At dinner (the albergues host dinner) I shared that story with her as we ate. She said that God sent me to her today, to help her make it and not quit. She had given up when I stopped to talk to her. Oh, one other little side story… I stopped to encourage another lady. She was from Minnesota. She was having a tough time with the climb. I said a few encouraging words and told her she could do it. She said that her plan was to just make it another 25 steps, then rest, then another 25 steps, then rest. She was going to follow that plan until she got there. I wished her well and kept going. Later, I ran in to her at the albergue and said, “Hey! I told you that you could do it!” She smiled and laughed and said, “Yeah, I did. Hey, are you guys from Texas?” I told her yes, and she asked, “Are you the Aggies from Texas A&M?” She had seen the Facebook page and had commented on it the other day! Small world! I have one of the 300 beds in this albergue tonight. Only two showers in the place. I’m going to go get one of them before everyone else crowds in. It’s like a meat market for pilgrims. But it is warm and clean and the hosts are really nice. Well, I have about 12 hours until I depart from Antequera. Spain to start on the Camino de Santiago. I feel like I am ready, although I also feel like my pack may be too heavy. How do you prepare for 33 days when you really don't know what to expect.
I have been going through a roller coaster of emotions. On one hand I am very excited. This pilgrimage has been a dream of mine since I saw it in the movie "The Way" about 4 years ago. That movie touched me profoundly in my relationship with God and with others that are seeking something in their own journey. Every time I have seen it (at least 6) I have been touched or seen something different. So in this respect, I am really excited. On the other hand I am very down. I am dreading leaving my family to fend for themselves in Antequera. I know they can handle it, but we have never been apart for this period of time. I have felt over the past week that I am going for longer. I have had friends here in Spain that have wished me well, prayed for me and told me good-bye. It has been like telling people that I have known my whole life good-bye. I am really blessed with such good friends here in Spain and I will miss them. I have worried that I have not taken care of everything that I need to. I have worried about packing the right things, not too much of this or that. I am concerned that maybe, just maybe, I am not physically prepared and can't handle it. You see the ups and downs of this journey. Today something changed. I have crossed a threshold. The excitement has overtaken the worry. The anticipation has overtaken the uncertainty. While the negative is still there, it is reduced and the positive is now the overwhelming feeling. We spent the day as a family, went to the movies, rested, played horses and just hung out. Tomorrow I leave on the journey. I leave Antequera by train. I will go by train to Madrid and then make a connection to Pamplona, Spain. I then catch a bus to St. Jean Pied de Port, France where I will meet up with a group of 14 Aggies from Texas A&M. They have been kind to let me join up with them and share in the pilgrimage together. We start on Monday morning from St. Jean Pied de Port. The first leg of the journey will be about 23 kilometers (approx. 14 miles) uphill. We will be going into the Pyrenees and will climb all day to an altitude of 1,400 meters (approx. 4,600 ft). This will probably be the hardest day of the trip, with the exception of the soreness the following day!!! If you would like to see the path we will be following is shown on this Google Map . Laurie and I will continue to update this site to keep you up to date on my progress and thoughts. ¡Buen Camino! A song for pilgrims Psalm 121
1 I look up to the mountains-- does my help come from there? 2 My help comes from the Lord, who made heaven and earth! 3 He will not let you stumble; the one who watches over you will not slumber. 4 Indeed, he who watches over Israel never slumbers or sleeps. 5 The Lord himself watches over you! The Lord stands beside you as your protective shade. 6 The sun will not harm you by day, nor the moon at night. 7 The Lord keeps you from all harm and watches over your life. 8 The Lord keeps watch over you as you come and go, both now and forever. |