Transition Poem

Just got back from a time of gathering with peers and colleagues, friends and mentors.  A time of training, digging deeper, reflection, vision, and prayer.  It was a complex time for me.  It was a time of reconnecting and building deeper relationships with other cross-cultural workers around the globe, as well as a time of serious introspection and learning and inner growth.  Right now, all I am left with are questions and words that have randomly arranged themselves in my head as a poem of sorts:

Where am I?

Home, yet in a foreign land

Somewhere between here and there

In transition, again

Among friends, with my tribe, yet lost

Who am I?

Teacher, coach, counselor

Pioneer, leader, mentor

Mother, wife, friend

Child

His child

What am I doing?

Everything

Nothing

Too much

Not enough

Swimming upstream

Drowning

Fighting to stay afloat

Wondering if I know what I’m doing

How am I?

Awesome, terrified, awesomely terrified

Excited, nervous

Scared of failing, hoping to succeed

Unsure of most things, timid

Acutely aware of my brokenness

Yet I put on the smile and say “I’m fine”

Where do I go from here?

Back to Him, back to His Word

Back to the center of it all

Return to the Focus

Recalibrate

Let Him do the work He wants to do in me

Let Him heal all that is confused and searching

Give it all up to Him and surrender

So He can restore me, so He can put the pieces back together

Put my confidence back in Him, off of me

It’s a time of restoration, of reconciliation

A season

A swing in my rhythm of life with Him

This is exactly where He wants me

Dependent and in need

Weak, so He can be Strong

In knowing Him, in knowing who He is, I know that I’m going to be okay

It’s a process

It’s tough, but it’s all good